Sunday, December 19, 2010

Cliché

My mother met my father at the young age of sixteen. She was your typical high school sophomore: lively, erratic, and pleasant. It was your classic story of cheerleader meets jock. Only it was much, much more.

Thirty years and four children later, my mother and father have one of the more compelling relationships I’ve ever known. In my own twenty-three years of life I’ve met my own partnerships head on, and the ride has been a far cry from subtle. I have often considered the relationship my parents have with one another in correlation with my own relationships and those of the people which surround me, and the comparison is not kind.

The present-day couples, (sorry Mom and Dad) are cultivating in a much different time and a much different world. I know this is one of the more cliché things to write about; however, criticize if you will, recent events have made the issue re-surface. What is a blog, if not a chance to write it out of one’s system—am I right?

In the dating saga of my mother and father there were proper dates, love letters, goodnight phone calls, hell, there were curfews. Today we filter through drunken text messages, meet for drinks late night, and rely on facebook to update us on the objects of our affection. Don’t get me wrong, I myself, am notorious for the “why don’t we just meet for a drink after work,” idea. It seems easier and the pressure, non-existent. Maybe pressure is exactly what we need; perhaps it is the very lack of pressure which is currently sabotaging the dating culture.

So society tells us to watch how often we contact someone, watch how often we see someone, to refrain from laying all our cards on the table in order to express, and simultaneously, achieve affection. The word “vulnerable,” chills the spine of even the more undaunted twenty-something’s, and with all these unspoken, and spoken, rules and guidelines no wonder a girl can’t figure this “love” concept out. Yet this topic begs one very obvious question. Who cares?

All the questions, the concerns permeating in our minds are utterly diminishing precious time in our daily routines. So as it happens, all is not fair in love and war, but if the battlefield of love really does leave you with scars, why not accept it for what it actually is: a learning process. Someone very close to me once reminded me that the world is such a big place, and if you really believe in the concept of “the one,” what are the odds that he or she actually exists here in Charlotte, NC? While this borders the more pessimistic thought process, it sure seems rational.

My small hometown is saturated with my peers who went the marriage and family route at a young age. While it must be incredible to have found that connection with another person so early in life, it just is not in the cards for everyone; and instead of waning away our youth by fretting about finding and maintaining intimacy why not utilize the era? These do seem to be the more prominent, and remarkable, years of one’s lifetime. Is it totally selfish to embrace this time as self-discovery?

At some point should we accept that what is “right,” doesn’t necessarily have to be the “right now?” The truth of it all, there should be some sort of rule book for romance, something to turn to when you’re not quite sure what play to go with when it counts; or at least a guide to throw a flag on the play when you’ve crossed a line. Then would we all be on the same page somehow? Until someone pieces that bizarre work together, rest assured that we aren’t alone in this. We are all just preparing for the combat, and taking each battle in stride.

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