Friday, January 28, 2011

A Stranger Insight

People are always telling me things I don’t want to hear.

“It doesn’t get easier.”
“You never make time for me.”
“As a grad student, school should be your only priority.”
“You’re spreading yourself too thin.”
“If it’s meant to be, it’ll be.”

..just to name a few.

So my life is chaotic, who’s isn’t? It’s been a crazy couple of weeks, and it is going to be even wilder in the next few. I am: an intern, a babysitter, a bookkeeper, a server, a runner in training (again), and a full time grad student.

I am: crazy.

Hey it happens. My schedule stays in overhaul mode most days, and although I love that, who doesn’t have days when everything goes to hell? Some days you just want to crawl back in bed and sleep it off. Maybe wake and start over? Truth is, despite my every attempt, life can’t be planned or scheduled. It just happens, and you roll with it; but this morning I encountered the voice of reason at last. It occurred mid-sprint to my office, late for work. Who or what was this voice?

It came in the form of a middle-aged woman I’ve only seen in passing. I have noted that she’s a very charismatic and boisterous woman who works one floor below me. We aren’t very familiar with one another, aside from what small things I’ve perceived. For example she’s very outspoken but friendly, erratic yet diligent. Once we had a slight exchange by the vending machines, and upon walking by her desk I once noticed photographs of her family. However, this is as far as we go as co-worker acquaintances. I couldn’t even tell you her name.

We have a running joke at work regarding the elevators; most trips riding up require a three to five minute waiting period. I would like to note that while this is a very serious issue, it is not quite serious enough that any of us are giving in and climbing the stairs either. When I got to the ground level and pushed the up button on the elevator I had time to dig my phone out of my purse, respond to a text message and re-fill my water bottle before the double doors opened up.

I heard her bounding down the hallway, long before she was in sight, and with one arm out I held the elevator door open for my fellow belated co-worker. On stepped this woman practically sucking for air post run. After she caught her breath, she thanked me for holding the elevator, to which I replied “yeah, anytime.”

The awkwardness of a small elevator plus two people equals small talk. So naturally we launched into complaining employees over the slow and loud elevators we ride each day. When her floor was reached she thanked me again for letting her catch my ride up this morning, otherwise she would have most likely waited another five minutes making her even later than we already were, and I wished her a good day, but just as she stepped off she said:

“You’ve got to acknowledge when things go right, or else you’d never make it through the day.”

The doors closed, and I rode one more floor up considering the thought. Once at my desk with my computer booted up I opened Microsoft Word and typed the words of this unknown woman onto the blank screen. Then I sat there reading them again and again, contemplating the profound idea they conveyed. I caught myself drumming my fingers on my desk to the beat of the flashing cursor at the end of the sentence. I’ve always been a fan of the flashing cursor; it seems to say “keep going.”

So I did. I felt compelled to do so; I started typing the things that had gone right already this morning. I had woken up incredibly late and rushed to work, this much was true. Yet, traffic this morning was nonexistent and I managed to score a key parking spot. Not to mention, fresh off the elevator and my boss had just brewed a new pot of coffee—hazelnut (my favorite).

Then I went beyond just today, thinking about what small things have gone right that I’m clearly overlooking. As it turns out, I’m blind. How quick I am to dismiss the things that work out in life. In fact, more things turn out beautifully right than the other way around. I spend my days on a rampage over the many things I have to do, complaining constantly that there truly isn’t enough time in the day. Meanwhile, this woman I know nothing about catches a quick ride on an elevator sans waiting period and she embraces it for what it really is: a break.

So as it happens, life does give you a break every once in a while. You just have to acknowledge it. Instead of listening to the negative, it is time I heard the good. Life is busy, you get the picture, but it is those pessimistic thoughts and comments I truly have no time for. My undivided attention seems to go in the direction of the more disparaging remarks, its time they took a back seat to more elevating expressions. Goodbye cynicism, hello enthusiasm!

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