"So, Facebook Status?"

My relationship status changed, on Facebook.

And with it, the world as I knew it

I’m not the “relationship” girl. If you know me, that last statement: not a shocker. Yet, my latest “In a Relationship,” stamp by means of social media, was astonishing to many (Mom). It’s true that I’ve spent the last couple years of life finishing one degree and working things out in my own life, but give a girl a break- I’ve dated. Many of those past relationships flew under the radar, and Facebook didn’t get involved. One would think those unidentified and unknown types of relationships would be deemed much more scandalous. Wrong.

From the moment my relationship status changed, my phone hasn’t stopped buzzing or ringing. The usual commentary: “WHAT?” and “Is it that serious?” So, let me get this straight world, are you telling me that Facebook is the deciding factor on the relevance of relationships these days? Where have I been, and when did this happen? Have I been so out of loop in the dating world that I’ve totally missed this epic technological transformation?

And unfortunately the bombarding of questions didn’t stop with mobile devices. In less than seven days time, I’ve had the delightful run-in with two former guys. Neither could help themselves, apparently my Facebook unveiling as a “girlfriend” is too urgent to ignore. I got the face to face confrontation in the form of: “So, Facebook status?”

What have you guys been doing since we went our separate ways-stalking me? Wait, don’t answer that.

It is sort of mind blowing when you think about it. Why is it that my relationship can only be accepted as legit if Facebook declares it so? I’m fairly certain that no one is beginning a relationship by sending the request via Facebook. When a guy or girl wants to know if their “hanging out” is becoming an exclusive relationship there is typically a talk which determines this. More than likely it does not occur with one extending the invite, to be more, in the form of the e-mail stating:

“[Insert name here] has updated his relationship status to say that you two are in a relationship. Please confirm this relationship status.”

Obviously my relationship was budding long before Facebook stepped in; I would expect that’s the case for the rest of the relationships out there. Before the status was updated, we were already a couple so why does it take a click of the mouse to make my relationship official? Does this say that the couples out there who choose to live their romantic lives away from the online spotlight are less official?

How absurd; and what about my former relationships that I didn’t showcase via the internet? Just because I didn’t follow through with this modern-day prerequisite in the dating saga doesn’t mean those relationships were less noteworthy. On the contrary, I have a huge problem with that notion. Every single relationship I’ve ever been in has taught me lessons about both life and myself. Every partnership is vital. They are the chapters in my life story, and no matter how few the page count-they hold significance. I don’t think I need Facebook to establish that.

The truth: social media sites such as Facebook and Twitter are introducing people at every second of every day. These sites could double as matchmakers, or online dating sites. There is “poking,” and “liking” and messaging or direct messaging on Twitter. The possibilities for meeting someone on these are endless. So who’s doing the dating here, us or Facebook? Even if these Social Media tools put us in contact with interesting people, at some point you’ve gotta get up and away from the computer screen.

Just because we carry it with us always by means of our smart phones, doesn’t mean the Facebook declaration is law. The last I checked, Facebook wasn’t sitting next to me at the movies, or taking me out to dinner. Nor was Facebook deciding who I hung out with or my agenda- so why should it be the decisive factor in my love life? Before Facebook came along, the only thing you needed to make your relationship official was a simple question. To all the contemporaries out there, can we get back to the fundamentals over here?