In the Industry of Love

If you think frequenting a bar is the best way to meet someone, well… you’re halfway there.

I have this theory that life is a theatrical experience. It is a production, more specifically a play, pieced together by way of minor -and yet, significant- scenes. These scenes may unravel in the form of romance or tragedy; some may pack a climax of some sort, while others merely carry you from one affair to the other. You cast your own characters, choose the role you want to play; and like all productions, no matter the technical difficulties- the show must go on.

So when I took my initial steps onto Charlotte soil five years ago, the Queen City naturally became the home to some of the more ground-breaking Acts in my own play. Bursting with life and memories, these innovative scenes have unfolded in the wake of many themes equipped with an assortment of props and a variety of characters.

And their center stage: the service industry.

Since my first days in Charlotte, I’ve been both the grateful and exasperated slave to this industry- but more exclusively, I’ve been the devoted employee of one well-known Charlotte bar. Working in bar is a far cry from working in your fine-dining establishment. Although I’m sure both the fine-dining server and myself share the same love/hate relationship with our jobs, something tells me the things I’ve seen are slightly more entertaining.

These particular scenes involve quite the unique cast, which makes for the highlight of those slower late nights. Even during those sluggish evenings at work-at least we still have each other. And over the weekend my fellow co-workers and I stumbled into one very intriguing conversation.

This particular conversation took place over the rolling of silverware, post the dinner rush. We were discussing a more recent dramatic love triangle amongst our staff, when we began to converse, as we often to do, about our own love lives. And then suddenly, we found ourselves in the midst of one prevailing epiphany: when it comes to our dating, the service industry is the fuel to our fire. And this is how we got here…

Just polling this exact shift, there were five of us on the floor. For the sake of this blog, we’ll refrain from divulging names. The relationship statuses are as follows:

Exhibit A: “Hater”- Met future wife at said establishment.

Exhibit B: “Voice of Reason” –At exact moment, boyfriend drinking at a table with one former fling drinking at the bar. I should mention that the former fling initial meeting: said establishment.

Exhibit C: “Bad Azz” –boyfriend, one of our co-workers

…and Exhibit D: “Best Friend” –Met future husband at said establishment.

As for me, boyfriend drinking at one end of the bar, while simultaneously insert: “Neglected Ex” who is posted up on opposite end. Might I add that joining “Neglected Ex” is his new girlfriend who, when she isn’t sitting at the bar, is donning an apron… as she is another of our co-workers.

Let’s take it further, drinking with friends at a table is another coworker of ours who met her husband at our bar, but is the former girlfriend of “Hater’s” brother… who is now dating another of our co-workers. Oh, and did I mention that she used to hang out with the very same former fling of “Voice of Reason,” who presently sits at the bar?

Let’s take it one step further…

Out of the 15 of us on the floor, 14 have hung out or dated someone they met while working at the bar. 5 have done so with at least 2 people met at our place of business, and 3 have dated or hung out with 3 or more individuals that were, in fact, first encountered at said establishment.

Finally, out of the 15 of us working front of house at this particular restaurant and bar in Charlotte, NC- 4 have met either their spouse or soon to be spouse.

Is the service industry the new match.com?

Even my happily married boss met his lovely wife while they were- you guessed it- working in the restaurant/bar business. So as it happens, this matchmaking industry doesn’t stop with purely “hook-ups,” it may go as far as to pave one’s way to true and undying love. And if you think that these astonishing dating statistics only occur at this one particular night life spot- think again.

You see, the thing about working in the service industry is those connections and friendships you make with fellow servers/bartenders doesn’t stop at the door of your own place of employment. Once you enter this food and beverage business it doesn’t take long before you’re making friends with other service industry employees. And why wouldn’t you?

You both deal with the same highs and lows; the same benefits as well as the same headaches-- plus you take care of each other. So naturally, over the years I’ve made quite the number of contacts in the field; and as a result, I’ve seen and heard of many dating triangles and complications. I’ve been the witness to a few of my own restaurant born relationships, as well as many of my server/bartender friends. So why do so many relationships thrive from within this serving business?

Easy, it’s pretty basic stuff. It’s your typical meeting people at work love story--only add alcohol to the mix. You put a group of people relatively around the same age together, plus late nights and a touch of liquid confidence-- and the end result: budding romance, or at the very least raw enticement.

So for those of you who believe meeting people at a bar is ideal, you’re kinda right. The bar is the contemporary version of our parent’s dating notions of dinner and a movie. The best part, where our parents had the 11:00 curfew, the bars stay open to 2 a.m. providing even more time to play Q & A over cocktails. Not to mention the bar scene is your model for a laid back atmosphere. But I’d say based on my own experience, it’s the working stiffs of the industry who benefit the most. After all, when you’re working 5 shifts a week the odds do seem to fall in your favor.