Or, for that matter, how to go about it; and if you don’t know whether or not you believe this please resort to the trail of perplexed and injured ex-boyfriends. I’m notoriously the girl who slips into “Sabotage Mode” with almost every single guy in my life, it’s just who I am. When a guy steps up to the plate with sweet sentiments and kind words, my feet are almost always itching to dash.
But every now and then, the rare guy steps into my life that stops me in my tracks. This is typically the guy who packs a mean head game; and while I detest this behavior-it usually hooks me. Sick, right? When this happens I go the polar opposite route: I hold on like hell- equally as damaging.
I’m not sure how I became this way, or why I am this way- but either I’m heading for the hills in an unjust fashion or I’m hanging on for dear life. Where is the in between? Does anyone know?
In an earlier blog I addressed my runaway dating saga; this time I want to address the other. Everyone’s been involved in a relationship they were either too afraid to let go of, or the relationship that you became so intertwined and wrapped up in that you didn’t recognize the signs:
Hey, it happens. It’s a difficult place to be, but if you’re a bleeding human being- you’ll find yourself in the threshold of this indecision. We’ve all be the victim of such torment. You know, the “my phone HAS been acting weird lately, he probably just didn’t get my text?” and the “well, he probably just doesn’t want to scare me off” state of mind? Sometimes you’ve just gotta hold your head high and walk away…
This photo is actually me, walking away. In fact, when my friend tagged me in it on Facebook she captioned it: “She’s always walking away;” which is true, for the most part… until it isn’t. There will always be that person, who despite your prayers- your pleading –and your denial, is never going to change. So, why do we stick around?
Meet (my) Best Friend…
… who works her life away. She puts everything she’s got into work, and it’s profoundly encouraging- but that is a story, a blog, for another day. You see, while she’s killing herself to take care of the people around her, there are other things circling this girl besides this “all work and no play” life she’s leading. Roughly a year and a half ago, Best Friend separated from her husband, and father of her only child. She packed up their things, and with the money in her pocket she walked away.
I’ve never told her this, but in that one single moment- I have never been more proud.
I watched her leave a life of comfort and stability behind. She didn’t know what would come next, what the future had in store; what she did know were two things. One, a loveless marriage would never be the proper environment for her growing daughter; and two, she deserved more.
People say all the time that it’s easy to walk away, and it is from the stand point of the girl who’s always on the run. But what the people aren’t saying is this: It is always easy to walk away-when you’ve got nothing to lose. It’s when you’re invested in something that walking away becomes an intricate affair. In my past, I’ve struggled to walk when I endowed feelings into someone. For Best Friend the investment: a beautiful little girl. And as it happens, the truth of the matter: it is always easier to stay.
To stay: hopeful, optimistic, expectant…
To stay in hopes that one day things will change or the gray clouds will lift leaving the bright sunlight of lasting romance. To stay, for Best Friend, would have meant financial security and comfort- didn’t matter. She was a girl who knew what she was worthy of, and in turn, who was worthy of her.
Naturally, the road to her current state of bliss was a winding one. But when she walked away and looked into the distance, she could see the twists and turns of her future course. She knew the struggles to follow, but with open eyes the first steps-taken, and the storm-weathered.
I’ve said it before …life is messy. The complications along the way suck, yeah- yeah you’ve all heard it before, but what are you going to do about it? If you don’t love the hand you got dealt, demand a re-deal, and this time when the dealer hands you the deck- cut it. Control your destiny. If things in the relationship game aren’t playing out, switch to new game- new rules. … And, I’ll stop with the card game analogy.
Sometimes in life you just have to know when it’s time to walk away. The decision will never be easy, more than likely it will never be received well, but your life is yours for the making. Do with it what you will. Best Friend took her life back, and despite it all, found her way to happiness again. I couldn’t possibly be more proud.
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